„Sho-fereala” saga 1

Acesta este strigatul meu de lupta in intreprinderea mea de acum.

Sa traduc: La atac si Domne fereste.

Inapoi nu mai dau. Am pus pe altar o eprubeta plina cu sange din sangele meu. Cum sa-l irosesc in van?!?
Azi dimineata, foarte devreme, am exersat, intr-o parcare aglomerata, parcarea cu fata. Doamne, cate ciocneli… Dar pana la urma am ajuns ca dintr-o pozitie mai permisiva sa parchez corect de mai multe ori la rand. Ati inteles… un joculet online care te invata sa parchezi. Adica nu te invata, te lasa sa te dai cu capul de pereti pana reusesti sa-ti gandesti miscarile corecte.

Pe curand. Pana atunci aviz celor care vor sa ma sperie:

NEVER EVER!
Pentru a va amuza:

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding…

Older Woman: „Is there a problem, Officer?”
Officer: „Ma’am, you were speeding.”
Older Woman: „Oh, I see.”
Officer: „Can I see your license please?”
Older Woman: „I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”
Officer: „Don’t have one? ”
Older Woman: „Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. ”
Officer: „I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: „I can’t do that. ”
Officer: „Why not? ”
Older Woman: „I stole this car. ”
Officer: „Stole it? ”
Older Woman: „Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.”
Officer: „You what? ”
Older Woman: „His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.”

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: „Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!” The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: „Is there a problem sir?”
Officer 2: „One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.”
Older Woman: „Murdered the owner? ”
Officer 2: „Yes, would you open the trunk of your car, please.”

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: „Is this your car, ma’am?”
Older Woman: „Yes, here are the registration papers.” The officer is stunned.
Officer 2: „One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.”
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a driver’s license and hands it to the officer, who examines the license looking puzzled.
Officer 2: „Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.”
Older Woman: „Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.”

MORAL: Don’t Mess With Little Old Ladies